Today was my last doctor's appointment before my sceduled c-section. She said everything looked great and that I was still closed but 85% thinned out. She also said I was measuring at 40 weeks and the baby is big and it was a good thing I'm having a c-section. The recovery time is longer and it is major surgery, but I know what to expect! So.... I am scheduled for Friday morning.
I can't believe Friday we'll have a new baby. It hasn't really hit me yet. I feel like I have a lot to do before he arrives. I haven't even packed my bag. I'm dreading staying in the hospital, it's so not relaxing. I'm also not looking forward to dealing with the whole breastfeeding thing. I really want to do it, but I almost feel like I will go into depression if I do. I did it with Ellie a little over a month and it was horrible. I had major issues and my milk never really came in. I just remember crying about it all the time. I hope a miracle happens and I change my mind. Maybe one of the nurses will talk me into trying it again. I know that it can't hurt to try it again and I know I'm in the wrong with this whole thing. I've read a lot on nursing and there is NO negatives about it, except if the mother can't do it or emotionally can't handle it. I guess I'm just emotionally unstable, but maybe it will change on Friday! Ok. enough.
I'm pretty excited to get some energy back though! I know I'll still be sleep deprived, but my body will start healing. I'm planning on taking 3 months off. I get 8 weeks for my c-section and the rest is unpaid. We are also going to Vegas in November with Nick's family to celebrate his parent's 40th anniversary! I look forward to that, but not leaving Ellie and the baby. It will be a quick trip, but still.
Ellie has had a fever the last couple of days and has been feeling sluggish. I hope she returns to her normal self by the end of the week, because she'll have a new baby brother!
Here is a picture of Ellie (with her pirate patch) at breakfast the other day. She LOVES breakfast!
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